Monday, January 30, 2012

Asking for Money

Along with the invite design, Lil Boa worked on a card that would inform our guests about the dress code, the reception, the website and gifts.Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know what you're thinking. Putting registry information on the invitation is tacky and  rude and just plain wrong.

It wasn't until I entered the wedding blososphere that I learned this was an etiquette no-no. Even more of a no-no is asking fro money on the invitation, which is exactly what we will be doing. I should explain that in my 22+ years of attending weddings (more than 30 so far) I have never NOT seen a request for money on a wedding invitation. Most of them had a message stating that gifts were not neccesary but if the guest insists it would be preferable to recieve money.

Imagine my surprise when I learned some people could be offended by such a statement, to the extent of not attending the wedding! Further Internet research revealed that the "Don't ask for money" rule is mainly part of American wedding etiquette. Wedding gifts in some European and Asian countries are expected to be monetary and in those cultures it is perfectly acceptable to state it on the invite. I guess you can add Puerto Rico to that list, since as far as I know asking for money on the invitation is the norm.

On the other hand, if a bride ask for gifts from a registry, all hell will be upon her. There is only one Macys's, one Bed, Bath and Beyond and one Pottery Barn for the 3 million inhabitants on the island. These stores are all close to the capital, San Juan, 3 hours from my hometown. I don't think anybody would be particularly happy to drive hours to buy a place setting or a blender from one of these chain stores and Internet shopping is not popular with the older generation.

What cultural differences have you learned about during the wedding planning? Would you ask for money on your wedding invitation? How would you react you received an invitation specifying money as a gift?

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