Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Planning A Wedding Sometimes Sucks

We had been together almost five years by the time our nuptials came along but the weeks leading up to the wedding have definitely been the lowest point in our relationship. It was the first time we had ever fought, I mean a sobbing "you don't love me" type fight. We had had our normal share of disagreements and bickering before but NOTHING compared to the stuff that came up the weeks before the wedding

Our last big fight before the wedding (which coincidentally was the last week of finals for both of us) was because he made plans to go out with friends (three days before the wedding... the man is insane!) without asking if there was anything left to do for the wedding.There wasn't actually anything left to do but the fact that he made plans without offering the help made me so mad.. 

I started to cry, saying that the wedding wasn't his priority, that he really didn't want to marry me, that  I had done all the planning by myself, that he didn't care about the wedding and blah blah blah. I went all bridal brain crazy on the poor man. It was a pretty big blowout since he couldn't understand why I was so upset and I couldn't understand how HE couldn't understand because certainly it was obvious.. Afterwards, we both felt pretty crummy about the whole thing and I went to my fellow bees for some advice.  

"Fighting before the wedding is SO normal. This is why one of my best guy friends said that he thinks a wedding is a terrible way to start a marriage, haha. But I think it's a good way. It makes love collide with incredibly stress-inducing elements [families, money, culture] on a timeline, and you'll emerge stronger for it. Just breathe, communicate / try to explain to each other what you're feeling and why, and you'll be just fine!"
-Mrs. Prairie Dog

"Thinking about that now makes me laugh because we fought about the stupidest things! One fight was about whether words with friends was better than draw something. Seriously we were so stressed and exhausted our minds couldn't handle any disagreement! Just know that there is a light at the end of the wedding tunnel and fighting is very normal!"
- Mrs Castle

"Don't worry! This is so normal, and if you two haven't fought much in the 5 years before the impending wedding then you won't fight much after it's over (and things have a chance to settle down). Weddings to couples are like full moons to werewolves... they transform you into something stronger but also very bite-y."
- Mrs. Bunting

Turns out, fighting before the wedding is totally normal, Mrs.Octopus and Mrs.Hyena also wrote about having pre-wedding psycho bride moments.

To those brides that sail through without a so much as a small squabble, lucky you, but if it seems like just before the wedding you are pulling at each others hair, hang in there... it will get better. Once the wedding is over, everything goes back to normal. It's even better than normal because you'll come out as newlyweds in a stronger, more solid relationship than the one you entered. All the stress and pressure from the wedding will be over and you'll be able to rejoin society as a stable non-crazy WIFE!

Did you have any fights just before the wedding? Do you think you'll have any? What about?

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